My 45 (2018)

I’ll pulverize your insides with this 45,

I’ll tell lies and sell lies like “Russia’s not a spy,”

Aim my 45 right between your eyes,

Who cares if more kids die?

Women claim I abused them,

Nice try,

My 45 defied logic by being voted into office,

Praised by bigots often,

For policies that will send poor people to their coffins,

My 45 protects me in times of need,

Dominating the news feeds with deeds

That bring my office to shame,

No matter how putrid my mistakes,

I never accept the blame,

A good role model to the youth,

Because I can sleep with whoever I want to,

I’ll build a wall, the hell with y’all,

Down with the Neanderthals

That say “shut up and dribble”

Your basketballs,

My 45 ensures I stay alive,

If you’re offended go run and hide,

As long as the right people can bring their guns inside,

And as I said before,

There was blame on “both sides,”

My cabinet picks are like game show picks,

With realms of material for comedy skits,

My rallies are things of legend,

With turnouts larger than you can imagine,

Tragic,

That so many people don’t realize how great I am,

Approval rating be damned,

Oh, and the NSA and FBI are a sham,

My 45 feels me with pride,

My 45 is down with the NRA and Fox news,

I consistently shape your views,

My marriage is a farce,

Paid off people to keep my infidelities in the dark,

My words created a spark,

Ignorance plays a part,

I insulted my way to the top,

While the smart people flopped,               

I turned opinions into facts,

And gave cowards the balls to commit racist acts,

So what, you march and tear down artifacts,

I’m rich, and my shirt and tie match,

My 45 owns twitter,

My legion of followers is only getting bigger,

You call me a liar, a pariah,

I could set this whole place on fire,

And still be voted in for another term,

Burn baby burn,

Godlike is my erection,

I won the election

Because I got voted in by all those racist comment sections,

I’m a winner,

Despite my transgressions,

And all those I offended,

Trust me,

I’ll make America great again before I’m finished,

Get a load of my 45,

It keeps me alive,

It kills enemy tribes, and idealistic scribes,

My 45 fills me with pride,

Although I’m thinking of trading it in

For one of those AR-15s…  

My cabinet picks are like game show picks,

With realms of material for comedy skits,

My rallies are things of legend,

With turnouts larger than you can imagine,

Tragic,

That so many people don’t realize how great I am,

Approval rating be damned,

Oh, and the NSA and FBI are a sham,

My 45 feels me with pride,

My 45 is down with the NRA and Fox news,

I consistently shape your views,

My marriage is a farce,

Paid off people to keep my infidelities in the dark,

My words created a spark,

Ignorance plays a part,

I insulted my way to the top,

While the smart people flopped,               

I turned opinions into facts,

And gave cowards the balls to commit racist acts,

So what, you march and tear down artifacts,

I’m rich, and my shirt and tie match,

My 45 owns twitter,

My legion of followers is only getting bigger,

You call me a liar, a pariah,

I could set this whole place on fire,

And still be voted in for another term,

Burn baby burn,

Godlike is my erection,

I won the election

Because I got voted in by all those racist comment sections,

I’m a winner,

Despite my transgressions,

And all those I offended,

Trust me,

I’ll make America great again before I’m finished,

Get a load of my 45,

It keeps me alive,

It kills enemy tribes, and idealistic scribes,

My 45 fills me with pride,

Although I’m thinking of trading it in

For one of those AR-15s…